Like a Boss Lyrics by Lonely Island (Clean Version)

Funny Song: Like a Boss
Artist: The Lonely Island
Album: Incredibad
Video features Seth Rogen

Like a Boss Lyrics by The Lonely Island

Mr. Samberg Thanks for coming to your performance review
No problem

So you're in charge around here, is that fair to say?
Absolutely, I'm the boss

Okay, so take us through a day in the life of the boss
Well the first thing I do is...

Talk to to corporate (like a boss)
Approve memos (like a boss)
Lead a workshop (like a boss)
Remember birthdays (like a boss)
Direct workflow (like a boss)
My own bathroom (like a boss)
Micromanage (like a boss)
Promote Synergy (like a boss)
Hit on Debra (like a boss)
Get rejected (like a boss)
Sallow sadness (like a boss)
Send some faxes (like a boss)
Call a sex line (like a boss)
Cry deeply (like a boss)
Demand a refund (like a boss)
Eat a bagel (like a boss)
Harassment lawsuit (like a boss)
No promotion (like a boss)
Fifth of vodka (like a boss)
S*** on Debra's desk (like a boss)
Buy a gun (like a boss)
In my mouth (like a boss)
Oh crap man I can't f***ing do it... s***!
P**** out (like a boss)
Puke on Debra's desk (like a boss)
Jump out the window (like a boss)
Suck a dude's d*** (like a boss)
Score some coke (like a boss)
Crash my car (like a boss)
Suck my own d*** (like a boss)
Eat some chicken strips (like a boss)
Chop my b**** off (like a boss)
Black out in the sewer (like a boss)
Meet a giant fish (like a boss)
F*** its brains out (like a boss)
Turn into a jet (like a boss)
Bomb the Russians (like a boss)
Crash into the sun (like a boss)
Now I'm dead (like a boss)

Uh huh. So that's an average day for you then?
No doubt

You chop your balls off and die?
Hell yeah

And I think at one point there you said something about sucking your own d***
Nope!

Actually I'm pretty sure you did
Nah, that ain't me

Okay, well this has been eye opening for me
I'm the boss

Yeah, no I got that. You said it about four-hundred times
I'm the boss

Yeah yeah I got it!
I'm the boss

OK, great. I heard you. Bye.
LIKE A BOSS!

I'm On A Boat Lyrics (Clean) - Lonely Island

Funny Song: I'm on a Boat (Clean)
Artist: The Lonely Island
CD: Incredibad
Funny song lyrics below video...

I'm On A Boat Lyrics (Clean)

Aww s***, get your towels ready it's about to go down (shorty, yeah)
Everybody in the place hit the f***ing deck (shorty, yeah)
But stay on your motherf***ing toes
We running this, let's go

I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)
I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)
Everybody look at me 'cause I'm sailing on a boat (sailing on a boat)
I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)
I'm on a boat
Take a good hard look at the motherf***ing boat (boat, yeah)

I'm on a boat motherf***er take a look at me
Straight flowing on a boat on the deep blue sea
Busting five knots, wind whipping out my coat
You can't stop me motherf***er cause I'm on a boat

Take a picture, trick (trick)
I'm on a boat, B**** (bitch)
We drinking Santana champ,
Cause it's so crisp (crisp)
I got my swim trunks
And my flippie-floppies
I'm flipping burgers, you at Kinko's
Straight flipping copies

I'm riding on a dolphin, doing flips and s***
The dolphin's splashing, getting everybody all wet
But this ain't Seaworld, this is real as it gets
I'm on a boat, motherf***er, don't you ever forget

I'm on a boat and
It's going fast and
I got a nautical themed
pashmina afghan
I'm the king of the world
On a boat like Leo
If you're on the shore,
then you're sure not me-oh

Get the f*** up, this boat is REAL!!!

f*** land, I'm on a boat, motherf***er (motherf***er)
f*** trees, I climb buoys, motherf***er (motherf***er)
I'm on the deck with my boys, motherf***er (yeah)
This boat engine make noise, motherf***er

Hey ma, if you could see me now (see me now)
Arms spread wide on the starboard bow (starboard bow)
Gonna fly this boat to the moon somehow (moon somehow)
Like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible

Yeah, never thought I'd be on a boat
It's a big blue watery road (yeah)
Poseidon
Look at me, oh (all hands on deck)

Never thought I'd see the day
When a big boat coming my way
Believe me when I say
I f***ed a mermaid

I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Everybody look at me 'cause I'm sailing on a boat (woaah)
I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Take a good hard look at the mothaf***in' boat (sha-sha-shorty, shorty, yeah)

Funny Halloween Songs, Lyrics - Nightmare on My Street

Funny Halloween Song: Nightmare on My Street
Artist: DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince
Album: He's the DJ, I'm the Rapper
Funny song lyrics below video...

Nightmare on My Street Lyrics

Now I have a story that Id like to tell
About this guy you all know he had me scared as hell
He comes to me at night after I crawl into bed
He's burnt up like a weenie and his name is Fred
He wears the same hat and sweater every single day
And even if its hot outside he wears it anyway
He's home when I'm awake but he shows up when I sleep
I cant believe that threes a nightmare on my street

It was a Saturday evening if I remember it right
And we had just gotten back off tour last night
So the gang and I thought that it would be groovy
If we summoned up the posse and done rushed the movie
I got Angie, Jeff got Tina
Ready rock got some girl Id never seen in my life
That was all right because the lady was chill
Then we dipped to the theater set to ill
We saw elm street and man it was def
And everything seemed all right when we left
But when I got home and laid down to sleep
That began the nightmare, but on my street

It was burning in my room like an oven
My bed soaked with sweat
And man I was bugging
I checked the clock and it stopped at 12:30
It had melted it was so darn hot
And I was thirsty
I went downstairs to grab some juice or a coke
Flipped the TV off, and then I almost choked
When I heard this awful voice coming from behind
It said, you got my favorite letter but now you must die
Man, I aint even wait to see who it was
Broke inside my drawers and screamed, so long, cuz
Got halfway up the block
I calmed down and stopped screaming
Then thought, oh, I get it, I must be dreaming

I strolled back home with a grin on my grill
I think that since this is a dream I might as well get ill
I walked in the house, the big bad fresh prince
But Freddy killed all that noise real quick
He grabbed me by my neck and said
Here's what well do
We gotta lotta work here, me and you
The souls of your friends you and I will claim
You've got the body and I've got the brain

I said, yo Fred
I think you got me all wrong
I aint partners with nobody with nails that long
Look, Ill be honest man, this team wont work
The girls wont be on you, Fred, your face is all burnt
I patted him on the shoulder, said thanks for stopping by
Then I opened up the door and said take care guy
He got mad, drew back his arm, and slashed my shirt
I laughed at first, then thought, hold up, that hurt
It wasn't a dream, man, this guy was for real
I said, Freddy, uh, pal, there's been an awful mistake here
No further words and then I darted upstairs
Crashed through my door then jumped on my bed
Pulled the covers up over my head
And said, oh please do something with Fred
He jumped on my bed, went through the covers with his claws
Tried to get me, but my alarm went off
And then silence
It was a whole new day
I thought, huh, I wasn't scared of him anyway
Until I noticed those rips in my sheets
And that was proof that there had been a nightmare on my street

Prince: oh man, I gotta call Jeff, I gotta call Jeff
Come on, come on
Come on Jeff, answer
Come on, man
Jeff: hello?
Prince: Jeff, this is prince, man
Jeff, wake up,
Jeff, wake up
Jeff: what do you want?
Prince: Jeff, wake up, man,
Listen to me, Jeff
Jeff: its three o'clock in the morning, what do you want?
Prince: Jeff, Jeff, would you listen to me?
Listen, whatever you do, don't fall asleep
Jeff: man
Prince: Jeff, listen to me, don't go to sleep, Jeff
Jeff: look, Ill talk to you tomorrow, I'm gong to bed

Ahhhhhh! ahhhhhh! (ha ha ha ha ha haaaa)

Prince: Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! answer me, Jeff!

Freddy: I'm your d.j. now, princey! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa!

 

Funny Rap Lyrics - Shaniqua Don't Live Here No More

Funny rap song: Shaniqua (Don't Live Here No More)
Artist: Little T and One Track Mic
Album: Fome is Dape
Funny song lyrics below video...

Shaniqua Don't Live Here No More Lyrics

Moved into my apartment at the un-i-iversity.
The only one who lives here is me. So why's the phone ring all day long?
I got no friends expect Mike and he's gone for the summer.
And I just want some peace and quiet, come to my room and
It's a telephone riot. Ring-a-ling-a-ling,
Every time I take a step, can't eat, can't sleep, can't breath, can't get.
Any of my work done, cuz people keep callin' with the same damn question.
(Hello, is Shaniqua there?)
Nah, Shaniqua moved out last year.
I think you have the wrong number, this is Little T.
(You mean Shaniqua's brother?)
Man, can't you just leave me alone,
this ain't Shaniqua's house this ain't her phone.
and don't call back again, cuz if ya
do ya know the answer man.

[chorus]
Shaniqua don't live here no mo' [3x]
(Is Shaniqua there?) Hell no
Shaniqua don't live here no mo' [3x]
(Is Shaniqua there?) Hell no

I wonder who Shaniqua is. What she does and where she lives.
If she a pothead with too many zits. A movie star with
inflatable tits. Does she take the train, or drive in a car.
Work in the office, or down at the bar. How the hell should I?
know she could be Albino for all I care.
(Hello, Is Shaniqua there?)
Yea she is, but she can't talk now.
She's busy milking are purple cow. and talking to the Easter bunny.
(Man you think your funny)
Shut up, Beavis! I told you six times befo'. Shaniqua don't live here no mo'

[chorus]

Check my machine on Friday, there
were 22 messages. Man I can't win at this. One said:
(This is for the kid livin' with Shaniqua, you want that trick you can keep her)
Will this ever cease, so I can get some sleep.
Shaniqua moved out leave ya message at the beep. (Beep)
(Yo)
(Shaniqua)
(I love you)
(Call me)
(Kiss Kiss)

[chorus]

Lazy Sunday Lyrics

Funny Song: Lazy Sunday
Artist: SNL Digital Shorts
Funny song lyrics below video...

Lazy Sunday Lyrics

Lazy Sunday, wake up in the late afternoon.
Call Parnell just to see how he’s doin’.
Hello?
What up, Parns?
Yo Samberg, what’s crackin’?
You thinking what I’m thinkin?
NARNIA.
Man, it’s happenin’.
But first my hunger pains are stickin’ like duct tape.
Let’s hit up Magnolia and mack on some cupcakes.
No doubt that bakery’s got all da bomb frostins.
I love those cupcakes like McAdams loves Gosling.
Two, no six, no twelve, BAKERS DOZEN.
I told you that I’m crazy for these cupcakes, cousin.
Yo, where’s the movie playin’?
Upper west side, dude.
Well, let’s hit up Yahoo Maps to find the dopest route.
I prefer Map Quest.
That’s a good one, too.
Google Maps is the best.
True that.
DOUBLE TRUE.
68th and Broadway.
Step on it, sucka.
What you wanna do, Chris?
SNACK ATTACK, MOTHER******
It’s the Chronic (what?)
Cles of Narnia
Yes, the Chronic (what?)
Cles of Narnia
We love that Chronic (what?)
Cles of Narnia
Pass that Chronic (what?)
Cles of Narnia
Yo, stop at the deli.
The theater’s over-priced.
You’ve got the backpack?
Gonna pack it up nice.
Don’t want security to get suspicious.
Mr. Pibb and Red Vines equals CRAZY DELICIOUS!
I’ll reach in my pocket, pull out some dough.
Girl actin’ like she never seen a $10 before.
It’s all about the Hamiltons, baby.
Throw the snacks in a bag and I’m ghost like Swayze.
Roll up to the theater.
Ticket buying, what we’re handlin’.
You can call us Aaron Burr.
From the way we’re droppin’ Hamiltons.
Now parked in our seats.
Movie trivias the illest.
Which Friends alum starred in films with Bruce Willis?
We answered so fast it was scary.
Everyone stared in awe when we screamed Matthew Perry.
Now quiet in the theater or it’s gonna get tragic.
We’re bout to get taken to a dream world of magic with…
the Chronic (what?)
Cles of Narnia
Yes, the Chronic (what?)
Cles of Narnia
We love that Chronic (what?)
Cles of Narnia
Pass that Chronic (what?)
Cles of Narnia

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3.14 Apple Pie Lyrics

Funny Song: 3.1 4 Apple Pie
Artist: Bo Burnham
Album: Bo Fo Sho
Funny song lyrics below video...

3.14 Apple Pie Lyrics

Yo i dont got bros, dont hang on the streets
i dont beat my hos, i only beat my meat.
Dont womanize cause you know it's true
that when you look in thier eyes you see they're people too
Mother effin suffrage!
You know im a gangsta, you know i do coke,
but i had to go to diet, cause it burnt my throat.
Ive been doin drive-bys all of my life,
cept the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.

3.14 apple pi,
i whip, clean it off, and stick it in her eye.
and by "it" i mean contact lens
3.14 apple pi,
I got rhymes and flows that make hitler cry.
George bush wont he just yell and rant
but he's a presiDONT who ameriCANT

I spit gangsta hymns, cause i'm a gangsta straight,
I think of 20 inch rims when i masturbate.
We're gonna be late, theres no time to waste,
cause the girls that i date, have a particular taste.
the taste of my weiner! (snap)

3.14 apple pi why was i born white no one quite knows why,
Gansgsta sell their rocks, ive got a collection
You couldnt get a rise out of a yeast infection.

I'm a lyrical heretic, but i'll make you laugh
hit with you rhetoric, then i'll cut you in half.
dont need to be a clown, i dont need to be nice,
How bout you sit down, and i serve you slice...

of my 3.14 apple pi my voice is so smokey it'll make you high...
Heres a confession its all about me,
Heres my impression of a broken jet ski.

Here come the puns.
All yo little thugs wanna mess me with me?
know that i've been doin drugs since the age of 3.
I took my cereal, stabbed it open with a knife.
Snorted that shit and i got high on Life.
A guy asked me for change, saying my mind was too dense.
I said you wont make cents if you dont make sense.
big finale...

you know i flow and show it, you know that bo know it,
You're lawn i'll mow it and grow it cause he's a sho' poet.
Yo my rims be spinning i winning, like adam i be sinnin.
Potato skinnin and knittin and separate those linens.
And in my eyes you see flies, and though you people tries
Just to disguise all your lies, but baby i be wise.
you know i did it and shit it you brothers couldnt hit it,
Then you try to ride it, too late! i already spit it.

apple pi

Funny Rap Lyrics - My Atari by Sudden Death

Funny Song: "My Atari" (parody of "My Adidas" by Run-DMC)
Artist: Sudden Death
Funny song lyrics below video...

My Atari Lyrics - By Sudden Death

My Atari, turn off all the lights
And bask in the glory of a two-bit sprite
I stood in line, when I was nine
Bought Burgertime and left the world behind
And out my speakers Q-Bert speaks
Won't offend my peepers 'cause his words are bleeped
My Atari's on a stand with an uneven height
So I use my X-Box just to prop it up right
My Atari still works after all these years
From when it first appeared on sale at Sears
We'll be together forever, I named it Heather
And I'll never get sick of pushing the reset lever
My Atari! My Atari!

Yo, whassup?
My Atari, driving down a street at night
Now I'm bumpin' and jumpin' to a staggering height
It always brightens up my day, and just last Friday
I found myself trying to kill a frog on the highway
You can't go wrong, with games like Pong
But on Pitfall the snake bit me in the schlong
And I slide left and right, I'm puttin' up a fight
With shields dwindling and Space Invaders in my sight
And so now I'm just sittin' here catchin' some bombs
I can play while on the toilet 'cause my phone has the ROMs
My Atari! My Atari!

Now, me and my Atari play the illest games
I like to duck and jump over dragon flames
We slay all dragons, red, yellow, and green
And the bat carries corpses from screen to screen
Outer space and under ground when I play my game
I shoot everything, it all looks the same
I'm set on expert every game I play
Even Strawberry Shortcake has me playin' all day
My Atari! My Atari!

Now the games that I possess have quite a range
Myself I've got four-hundred games
I play Taz a lot, till he eats his fill
And then Kool Aid Man when it's time to get ill
Played Donkey Kong and I got the high score
Before Mario dumped Pauline for that whore

My Atari, didn't always bring good games
Pac-Man was lame, Custer's Revenge was insane
And I hope the Reeses cause an allergy for E.T.
'Cause that's the game that brought down a whole industry
At a party that I threw for all the boys
We played Asteroids till we got hemorrhoids
My Atari lets me play with a stick in my lap
With a couple teeth marks 'cause I needed a snack
Whether in a space battle, or rustlin' cattle
You won't see me without my joy stick or paddle
My Atari!

Crank That Kosha Boy - Funny Song Lyrics

Funny Song: Crank That Kosha Boy
Artist: Eric Schwartz aka Smooth-E
Parody of Crank Dat (Soulja Boy) by Soulja Boy
Funny Song Lyrics below



JEEEEWS!!!

Attention in the synagogue
I got a brand new dance called the Kosha Boy
Ya jump back two times left to right--
(JEWS!!!!)
But enough with the explanation,
I’ll show you, you’ll realize it and go…
AAHHHHH!

Kosha boy on the (FLOOR!!!)
Spin the dradle watch it (ROLL!!!)
My mom makes that bomb matza-ball soup that’s in that (BOWL!!!)

For all my (JEWS!!!)
Crank that Kosha Boy
Now all my (JEWS!!!)
Crank that Kosha Boy
Now all my (JEWS!!!)
Crank that Kosha Boy
Now all my (JEWS!!!)
Crank that Kosha Boy
Now all my…

Kosha boy in (TEMPLE!!!),
Try to set an (EXAMPLE!!!).
Distracted by that girl I wanna schtup in the third (ROW!!!)

And she's a (JEW!!!)
Crank that Kosha Boy
Now all my (JEWS!!!)
Crank that Kosha Boy
Now all my (JEWS!!!)
Crank that Kosha Boy
Now all my (JEWS!!!)
Crank that Kosha Boy
Now all my…

Kosha day,
Kosha (BOY!!!)
When I say, "Vey," you say ("OY!!!")
Baby boy gets shmeckel cut and everyone says "Mazel Tov!"

I just served a gang of food and everybody praisin’ it,
All these schmucks think that I cooked but I just got it catered man!

Now all my (JEWS!!!)

We droppin’ on ya!
We droppin’ on ya!
And if you don’t like it I’ll go fakakta on ya! (fakaktah on ya!)

Hanukkah’s a festival, we celebrate it everyday.
Haters getting’ mad ‘cuz they got one and we got eight!!!

Kosha boy on the (FLOOR!!!)
Spin the dradle watch it (ROLL!!!)
My mom makes that bomb matza-ball soup that’s in that (BOWL!!!)

Kosha boy on the (FLOOR!!!)
Spin the dradle watch it (ROLL!!!)
My mom makes that bomb matza-ball soup that’s in that (BOWL!!!)

For all my (JEWS!!!)
Crank that Kosha Boy
Now all my (JEWS!!!)
Crank that Kosha Boy
Now all my (JEWS!!!)
Crank that Kosha Boy
Now all my (JEWS!!!)
Crank that Kosha Boy
Now all my…

Kosha boy in (TEMPLE!!!),
Try to set an (EXAMPLE!!!).
Distracted by that girl I wanna schtup in the third (ROW!!!)

And she's a (JEW!!!)
Crank that Kosha Boy
Now all my (JEWS!!!)
Crank that Kosha Boy
Now all my (JEWS!!!)
Crank that Kosha Boy
Now all my (JEWS!!!)
Crank that Kosha Boy
Now all my…

Funny Song Lyrics: "Grandpa's Gone Gangsta"

Grandpa's Gone Gangsta

Artist: Larry Weaver
CD: Everybody's Crazy But Me!!!

There’s something very strange about grandpa
He hasn’t been the same since grandmother passed away
He just sits around the house watching rap videos on MTV all day
And we worry all the time, grandpa thinks he's Busta Rhymes.

Grandpa: "If you really want to party with me, put your hands where my eyes could see! I can't see anything without my glasses. Where my glasses at? Hoody hoo!"

There’s something very strange about grandpa
He used to wear his pants hiked up as far as they would go
And now he wears them sagging around his waist so his adult diaper shows
He only speaks in ebonics, and he keeps asking for the chronic.

Grandpa thinks he’s a gangsta
And we think he’s too old to have his dentures capped in gold
And he’s mad because we refuse to call him O.G.
The Osteoporosis Gangsta

Grandpa: "I’m not Puff Daddy. I’m Puff Grandaddy. I’m going to pour my 40 on the block for Biggie."
Daugher: "Grandpa, you spilled your Metamucil"
Grandpa: "Beeeeee-yotch!"

There’s something very strange about grandpa
He likes to make his Craftmatic bed go up and down
He thinks he’s in the hoopty with hydraulics cruising through town
There’s something wrong with his head, he wants neon put under his bed

Grandpa: "I'm gonna call my crew. You gonna call your crew. We gonna rendevous at the bingo hall around two."
Daughter: "Grandpa it's time for your rub down."
Grandpa: "It's time for your beat down!"

There’s something very strange about grandpa
He put gold rims and spoilers installed on his wheelchair
So he can go rolling to Miami and shake his derriere
He said he got to clock his hos, he braided his toupee into cornrows.

Grandpa thinks he’s a gangsta
He thinks his pacemaker is a Skytel pager
And he’s mad because we refuse to call him OG
Grandpa's Gone Gangsta.

Grandpa: "I’m bout it. I’m rowdy. I just passed a kidney stone."