Funny Christmas Songs - Merry Christmas from the Family

Funny Christmas Song: Merry Christmas from the Family
Artist: Robert Earle Keen
Album: The Party Never Ends
Funny song lyrics below video...

Merry Christmas from the Family

Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk at our Christmas party
We were drinking champagne punch and homemade eggnog
Little sister brought her new boyfriend
He was a Mexican
We didn't know what to think of him until he sang
Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad

Brother Ken brought his kids with him
The three from his first wife Lynn
And the two identical twins from his second wife Mary Nell
Of course he brought his new wife Kay
Who talks all about AA
Chain smoking while the stereo plays Noel, Noel
The First Noel

Carve the Turkey
Turn the ball game on
Mix margaritas when the eggnog's gone
Send somebody to the Quickpak Store
We need some ice and an extension chord
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rites
A box of tampons, Marlboro Lights
Hallelujah everybody say Cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

Fred and Rita drove from Harlingen
I can't remember how I'm kin to them
But when they tried to plug their motor home in
They blew our Christmas lights
Cousin David knew just what went wrong
So we all waited out on our front lawn
He threw a breaker and the lights came on
And we sang Silent Night, Oh Silent Night, Oh Holy Night

Carve the turkey turn the ball game on
Make Bloody Mary's
Cause We All Want One!
Send somebody to the Stop 'N Go
We need some celery and a can of fake snow
A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprites
A box of tampons, some Salem Lights
Hallelujah, everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the Family

Funny Christmas Songs: Happy Holidays The Rap Lyrics

Funny Song: Happy Holidays The Rap
Artist: GoRemy
Funny Song Lyrics below

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Well it's the holiday season
It's the season to be jolly
Time to put up all the lights
Time to deck the halls with holly

Time to wish a Merry Christmas
To one and all
Time to find a freaking parking spot
up at the mall

It's like a Christmas palace, yeah
it's rocking up in my place
More greens than on a salad, man
More stocking than on MySpace

Droppin' yule tide carols
and this yule is phat
and I got more tide
than a laundromat

So many people celebrating
Man, I can't explain
It's like trying to figure
how to flip a candy cane

Bumpin in to cars
Everywhere I go
So many people at the mall
Even Santa like "whoa!"

Santa, look I got some cookie
can I tantalize ya?
With all these kids
I could use some hand sanitizer

You want world peace?
How 'bout an Xbox, boy?
You ain't gotta holla holla
Man, holla at your toy

Happy Holidays
Happy Holidays

It's the Hanukkah season
Make a world of noise
Eating bagels spinning dreidels
with the girls and boys

Gotta light Menorah candles
and never a day late
It's more serious
than the girls on jdate

Doctor, Doctor
"You ate a vodka?"
Too many jelly donut
Potato Latke

You need to get to the hospital
And don't be hasty
You ate too many food
Overdose on tasty

We only got a gallon of gas
How we getting there, mate?
Don't you worry, homey
Something tells me we got eight...

Happy Holidays
Happy Holidays

Kwanzaa, Kwanzaa
All up in the hiz
Hit up Wikipedia
to find out what it is

Seven principles
A tradition that is really
being integral
to Kawida--that's Swahili

I should celebrate all three
Wouldn't that be pleasant?
Why you doing that?
Three times the presents!

Millions of people celebrating
Holidays of every color
Do your homework, laugh it up
Don't be crazy, love each other

Happy Holidays
Happy Holidays