"Cletus Take the Reel" Video and Lyrics

Funny Country Song: Cletus Take the Reel
(Parody of "Jesus Take the Wheel" by Carrie Underwood)
Christian Comedian: Tim Hawkins
Funny song lyrics below video...

Cletus Take the Reel Lyrics by Tim Hawkins

I was fishing last Friday on a lake in Mississippi in the humid summer heat
on a boat with my best friend Cletus who was sleeping in the back seat
well the bites were slow and we were running low on chips and Gatorade
it had been a long hard day

felt a tug on the line and I didn't pay attention it was spinning way to fast
before I knew it I was staring at a ten pound shiny bass
when I tried to pull the fish inside I pulled a muscle in my upper thigh
I was so scared I threw my rod up in the air

Cletus take the reel
take it from my hand
cause I can't do it on my own
I'm letting go and I need your help bad
and if you don't my fish is gone
oh Cletus take the reel

oh I'm letting go
and I need your help bad
and if you don't my fish is gone
on this boat I'm on
Cletus take the reel
oh take it take it from me

Sean Cullen - Last Comic Standing YouTube

Funny Song: Chimp and the Woman
Comedian: Sean Cullen from Last Comic Standing
Funny song lyrics below video...

Sean Cullen Lyrics - The Chimp and the Woman

There was a woman, who lived alone.
Nobody called her on, the telephone.
She went into the woods one day, found a young chimp, who had gone astray.
She took that primate home, so she wouldn't have to be alone.
They spent the winter together, warm in their love despite, the harshness of, the winter weather.

The Chimp and the Woman
Living together in a house of stone
The Chimp and the Woman
They made this house a home.

The chimp and the woman were happy there.
The chimp was safe, the woman had found a friend
But the townsfolk heard of, this bizarre affair.
They said, "How can she love a creature that is covered with hair"

They came with axes and torches, they burnt her front and back porches.
They kicked in the door shouting, "Death, to the chimp loving whore!"

But they were gone, no one knew were they went.
Years went by and the world spun around.

Then one day, a strange creature walked into town
It came in from the wild, it was a half chimp-half human hybrid child.

And it said;
"I am a chimp child,
I bring fortunate smiles
If we could live in peace then all hatred would cease
If we could learn to love, get the blessings from above.
If we could all hold hands, then maybe then we'd understand."
And the people, oh the people, they beat him to death with a rock.

"My Whole Family Thinks I'm Gay" Lyrics

Funny Song: My Whole Family Thinks I'm Gay
Comedian: Bo Burnham
Album: Bo Fo Sho
Funny song lyrics below video...

My Whole Family Thinks I'm Gay Lyrics by Bo Burhnam

Every time I go to dinner
it seems like I'm getting a little bit thinner
I'll sit down at the breakfast table
I can talk, but they're not able
When I look at them I find
there's a single question on their mind.
I wish it could go back to the way it was
its not easy no because...

My whole family thinks I'm gay
I guess its always been that way.
Maybe its cause of the way I walk,
that makes them think that I like...boys

The g**d*** question just wont go away
cause I get asked every single day
but the way they ask it is no disguise,
like "How was your day? Do you like to kiss guys?"
This is the worst, baby this was my fear
Now their opinions are crystal clear.

My whole family now is shocked,
I'm in the closet and the door is locked.
Now my glory days are gone,
I was John Elway now I'm Elton John.

My whole family now suspects,
That watching SpongeBob had side-effects.
But I'm not gay and that's what I said,
If I'm gay then god strike me dead.

Just cause I go to an all-guys school,
Doesn't mean Justin Timberlake makes me drool.
When I go outside, what do I see?
The clouds in the sky spell "F-A-G"

I think that God might think I'm gay,
What does he know anyway.
My grandma gave me a present just last year,
and the card said, "Happy Birthday queer!"

My whole family thinks I'm "fab"
There's a guys butt, hey Bo, take a stab!
Why doesn't he get women, there's no other way,
Its cause I'm lanky, not cause I'm gay.

Just cause I'm afraid of the snow,
Or my favorite color is, the rainbow.
I don't mean to yell but I fear I must,
Cause I'm losing the people that I thought I could trust.

Even my boyfriend thinks I'm gay...just kidding

You all probably think I'm gay,
Man this song is counterproductive...
la la la la la...

Cause my whole family thinks I'm gay,
What am I suppose to say?
Baby you gotta see right through the haze,
Easy-Bake oven was just a phase.

My whole family thinks I'm queer,
That is all I ever hear,
But I've been as straight as a ramp,
If you don't count Bible camp.